So I’m a few days late, would you have me any other way? You know me. Always, it is officially 2016 now which is odd just to say, but I thought it might be a time to reflect on my achievements in 2015. There were some tremendous highs and lows in 2015, but I have certainly come a long way…
So thinking back to January last year I was just about getting over my experience with uni the previous September and starting to plan the next year of my life. I was really struggling with my anxiety and was kind of at a low point. I had started a permanent part time job at Sainsbury’s which tested me more than any other job had, I think possibly after my uni experience my little confidence had been knocked even more. However I pushed through and gained a lot of experience and skills, by the time I left I had made some great friends and gained real life experience.
As I had more spare time I became really close with my still best friend Emma. I would see her every week, if not more and she, along with my family were certainly my rock through the tough times. I was also then having CBT in an effort to really combat my anxiety and low self esteem which again was kind of a lifeline, I really enjoyed going and although sometimes it was hard to face, it made me look at life in a more positive, realistic way and face myself.
In the summer we went on the holiday of a lifetime, which was amazing and awful at the same time. We went on a huge 2 1/2 week California road trip. However I ended up in A&E twice and I have to say those 48 hours in L.A’s A&E department was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. Saying this the good times thoroughly outweighed the bad as it was an INCREDIBLE trip and just makes me want to go back immediately.
However struggling with my health I had further tests when I got back, finding I had a swollen right kidney and a ovarian cyst the size of a large golf ball. I don’t want to go into that too much because I feel its nothing that needs dwelling on. But I am feeling much better these days!
The next few months went by pretty hum drum, nothing particularly special happened. I quit my job in preparation for uni in September which by this time I’d decided I was going to give a real go. I knew it would be difficult but I felt I had somewhat unfinished business there and wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I finished my CBT which was liberating but scary, I’d been seeing him every week for the past few months.
Finally in September the big day arrived and I made the move to Bristol. It was terrifying and the first couple of weeks were the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I thought about leaving many times. However the distance I feel I’ve come since those first few weeks is amazing. I have gained so much confidence which has helped my anxiety and I’ve made some brilliant friends who have been there for me every step of the way. I’ve done things in the last few months of 2015 I never thought I would do. I couldn’t have done any of this without the steady support and love of my friends and family, especially my parents, who have ferried me back and too to Bristol too many times to count!
We had a lovely Christmas & New Year as a family, including visiting some family further afield. I am now taking medication for my anxiety but I am no longer ashamed of this, my anxiety is a constant battle but I can say I have come on leaps and bounds.
2015 was great, but 2016 is going to be AMAZING.
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas & New Year and may 2016 bring you every happiness!
Love, Lucy xxx