Today I wanted to talk about a subject that has always been close to my heart and will most likely always effect me in some form. This is obviously going to be a slightly more serious post than normal but not too serious I hope.
This subject is self confidence and this is something that, especially if your a teenage girl you will know is not that easy to have.
When I was in Primary School especially I was at least a foot taller than everyone, including students and some teachers! I felt incredibly self conscious about my height and it didn’t help when I started to be bullied which continued for a number of years until the girl actually left the school. Then in year 5 I was the first girl to wear a bra and I had some very nasty things said to me by some year 6 girls when we went swimming one time. I never put my hand up in class and would try to blend in wherever I could.
This carried on into secondary school, where again I was a lot taller than anyone else. However this is where I met a group of friends and in particular two girls that I am still friends with now and we’ve been through a lot. I was the only girl from my primary school to go to this secondary school and naturally I felt very alone and nervous about making friends. But this group took me in and made me feel part of their group, I still remember one of them saying to me ‘I’m so glad we’ve met you Lucy.’
It was at secondary school I started to slowly, very slowly gain some confidence, but my height was still a sore topic. I was just so sick of the first people thing saying to me being, ‘wow you’re tall.’ However with the help of my friends and some amazing teachers I had I did gain a little more confidence.
Now I’m in my last few months of college and am still an incredibly shy individual, but just from writing this post I can see how far I’ve come. I still stoop to try and be smaller than I actually am, I still look in the mirror and think how ugly I am, how big my nose is, how dark the circles under my eyes are, the list is endless, but in myself I think I have gained confidence. I just want to show times change, you grow and mature in yourself and you will feel better. I am still now an extremely anxious person, but I’m not as bad as I used to be and I also think as you grow up you learn not to care as much what people think.
If you are struggling with self confidence, honestly just hang on in there, you are beautiful, I know it sounds cheesy but everyone is. Because its not about looks, its your personality people fall in love with. You’re not the only one and it’s a journey you have to make but you will get there in the end 🙂